How Not To Offend Others
As we live our lives, we may come across many scenarios that may cause offence. At the same time, we can also become the reason why someone is offended. It might be done knowingly or unknowingly but it can cause hurt nonetheless. So today we’ll be looking at how a person can cause offence to others and how not to do it.
There are multiple ways in which one can cause offence.Sometimes it can come from an expression of hatred, anger or malice. Other times it can be in the form of hurtful words we intentionally speak to hurt the other person. It can also happen when we speak the truth from the word of God or live according to the word of God.
The Bible instructs us to not offend anyone with our words or deeds. This means that we shouldn’t intentionally cause offence to anyone because we want them to be offended.
1 Corinthians 10:31-33 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved”.
In the above verse, Paul tells the church at Corinth to not cause anyone to stumble; be it the Jews, the Gentiles or the church of God. He categorises all people into three categories: Jews, Gentiles and the church of God. Further on, he says that he is not seeking his own good but the good and benefit of as many as possible so that they will come to know Christ and be saved. In the same manner, we should conduct ourselves in a way that others will be open to hearing the Word of God. The offence that comes from expressing the Word of truth, God’s Word, cannot be entirely avoided.
If we are offending a person by telling the truth, we are actually offending the devil inside that person. If someone gets angry at the truth, it is because the demon inside the person is offended by the truth. It is the demon that makes a person act in this manner. No matter what way, the person would still feel the pain of the offence. On such occasions we can cover the sword of truth, the Word of God, with a layer of love. Our battle is against the devil and not against the person. Say the truth in love.
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Things to do if you offend another person
1. Humble yourself
Ego is one of the main reasons people get hurt and take offence. If you offend someone, ask them for forgiveness.
James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”.
When offenses happen, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another.
2. Ask God for forgiveness
No matter what the sin, ultimately, we are sinning against God.
Matthew 17:27 “But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours.
The above verse is said by Jesus to Peter when the tax collector came to collect tax. Jesus is God’s son and in God’s kingdom, His son need not pay any tax. But, since the tax collectors came to collect the tax, Jesus told Peter to pay the same so that there won’t be any offence caused due to it.
Ego broods offence and offence gives birth to sin. But the Holy Spirit promotes conviction and birth obedience.
Steps to prevent offence in church life
1. Do not entangle yourself with other’s business
2. Be a functional and fruitful leader in the church
Luke 9:62 “Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Be active in the church and once you commit to something, do not go back on your word.
3. Interact but keep a safe distance
Proverbs 14:4 “Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests”.
Keeping a safe distance doesn’t mean not interacting at all, rather it means to be careful with every interaction. There is great benefit from fellowshipping with other believers.
4. Have a positive attitude always
Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”.
5. Do all things in love
In his first letter to the church at Corinth, Paul writes to them about love (1 Corinthians 13). He describes love and tells that love never fails. Love takes away the bitterness of pain. The glue of love joins cracks of division. The oil of love smoothens the roughness of anger. The medicine of love heals. The light of love drives away the darkness of insecurity. The rope of love binds together the brethren into one body. Love makes relationships stay. Love fuels joy. Love inflates confidence. Love boosts faithfulness. No one can assess its potential.
In this world there will be offence but we can overcome it.
There are multiple ways in which one can cause offence.Sometimes it can come from an expression of hatred, anger or malice. Other times it can be in the form of hurtful words we intentionally speak to hurt the other person. It can also happen when we speak the truth from the word of God or live according to the word of God.
The Bible instructs us to not offend anyone with our words or deeds. This means that we shouldn’t intentionally cause offence to anyone because we want them to be offended.
1 Corinthians 10:31-33 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved”.
In the above verse, Paul tells the church at Corinth to not cause anyone to stumble; be it the Jews, the Gentiles or the church of God. He categorises all people into three categories: Jews, Gentiles and the church of God. Further on, he says that he is not seeking his own good but the good and benefit of as many as possible so that they will come to know Christ and be saved. In the same manner, we should conduct ourselves in a way that others will be open to hearing the Word of God. The offence that comes from expressing the Word of truth, God’s Word, cannot be entirely avoided.
If we are offending a person by telling the truth, we are actually offending the devil inside that person. If someone gets angry at the truth, it is because the demon inside the person is offended by the truth. It is the demon that makes a person act in this manner. No matter what way, the person would still feel the pain of the offence. On such occasions we can cover the sword of truth, the Word of God, with a layer of love. Our battle is against the devil and not against the person. Say the truth in love.
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Things to do if you offend another person
1. Humble yourself
Ego is one of the main reasons people get hurt and take offence. If you offend someone, ask them for forgiveness.
James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”.
When offenses happen, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another.
2. Ask God for forgiveness
No matter what the sin, ultimately, we are sinning against God.
Matthew 17:27 “But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours.
The above verse is said by Jesus to Peter when the tax collector came to collect tax. Jesus is God’s son and in God’s kingdom, His son need not pay any tax. But, since the tax collectors came to collect the tax, Jesus told Peter to pay the same so that there won’t be any offence caused due to it.
Ego broods offence and offence gives birth to sin. But the Holy Spirit promotes conviction and birth obedience.
Steps to prevent offence in church life
1. Do not entangle yourself with other’s business
2. Be a functional and fruitful leader in the church
Luke 9:62 “Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Be active in the church and once you commit to something, do not go back on your word.
3. Interact but keep a safe distance
Proverbs 14:4 “Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests”.
Keeping a safe distance doesn’t mean not interacting at all, rather it means to be careful with every interaction. There is great benefit from fellowshipping with other believers.
4. Have a positive attitude always
Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”.
5. Do all things in love
In his first letter to the church at Corinth, Paul writes to them about love (1 Corinthians 13). He describes love and tells that love never fails. Love takes away the bitterness of pain. The glue of love joins cracks of division. The oil of love smoothens the roughness of anger. The medicine of love heals. The light of love drives away the darkness of insecurity. The rope of love binds together the brethren into one body. Love makes relationships stay. Love fuels joy. Love inflates confidence. Love boosts faithfulness. No one can assess its potential.
In this world there will be offence but we can overcome it.
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